Obedience cost the Son of God His life.

Obedience to God always costs something.

I sat down to write about a story of obedience, (writing pouring from my own delayed obedience) not knowing that the circumstances surrounding it would be repeated this past month.

May we lift up Haiti.

I remember the waves of helplessness and grief over the nation of Haiti, a decade ago. On January 12, 2010, the impoverished island experienced a devastating 7.0 magnitude earthquake, killing around 300,000 people.

 I had been a nurse for less than five years. I felt inadequate.

Surely I was too young, too inexperienced- I had only cared for babies. Several of my coworkers went, giving me courage.

I prayed over what to do.

I was to go.

Wanting to be prepared I went to a health clinic. They suggested certain vaccines and medications for what I may encounter. The vaccines were not ones routinely given in the U.S. I spent a little time praying over them. I took them given the unknown.

The trip to Haiti was eye-opening. You cannot un-see suffering. We stayed at an orphanage, flanked by high concrete walls. (Who would want to harm orphans anyways?) Three weeks post earthquake, all the children slept outside because the tremors shook still.

I met a boy, whose life had always been hard. It consisted of being wheeled in a chair by other children. He could not communicate. I am unsure of his actual diagnosis, but he must have had some form of cerebral palsy. Clearly abandoned. Trying to make small talk in a language I didn’t know, I asked the kids their names. I asked about the one who couldn’t speak.

“Samson.”

“As in the strongest man who ever lived?”

I smiled through the churning of my heart.

“Why would you name this one, “Samson,” God?

Clearly I do not have the eyes of God.

I Corinthians 1:27 says, “He has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty.”

During my short stay, I helped in a gym turned post operative ward. I kept kids occupied, helped with bandages, and loved on them as best I could.

We drove out into the villages to do a few pop up clinics. There was no advertising necessary. People came from everywhere.

Returning home, we drove through the Dominican Republic, nearly losing my life in the front seat -the driver playing chicken with the other cars on the road. I got back on a plane home, exhausted.

I felt like a literal drop in a bucket.

Haiti needed an ocean of God’s love.

My life was changed. My perspective changed- my life wasn’t hard. Theirs was impossibly sustainable. The stories that came from the tent cities weeks following haunted me.

I had done so little.

Days upon returning I felt sick. I thought I had malaria.

It was not malaria or a parasite. The years that followed would reveal my obedience had cost me my health. Unfortunately the cocktail of vaccines were the trigger to my autoimmune issues which I deal with to this day.

I have since wondered, “What was the point?” They wouldn’t have missed me. I handed out hugs, prayers, smiles, bandages, water, vitamins, and some meds.

Big deal.

That very short mission trip ironically kept me from pursuing a life of missions overseas.

It makes no sense to me.

Yet I am not God. He told me to go. I went.

I am not the one that determines the eternal value of my one act of obedience.

If God accomplished the redemption of the world on the shoulders of One who stooped down from the glories of heaven to obey His Father’s will, what more reason do I need? Jesus laid aside His rights as God, not to just carry His cross, but to carry yours as the Son of Man.

Consider for a moment.

God Himself suffered.

He suffered as a Father and as a Son.

That cross the Son carried entailed the judgment and wrath of God. Those stripes on Jesus’ back from the soldiers became rivulets for the cup of wrath God poured upon Him.

God’s justice and mercy met at the Cross.

Yet there is something revelatory about the attitude of Christ.

“Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” Hebrews 12:2.

Christ obeyed for the joy of displaying the glory of God.

And the joy of knowing you.

Don’t minimize then what He can do through your surrendered heart.

Even one act.

My life is no longer my own. The trajectory of its course changed when Christ trod the path to Calvary. It changed when He gave me His own righteousness for my sin. And put a new heart within me.

I have a sweet friend who told me she ended her engagement-out of obedience to Christ. My heart aches for her. The world will not understand this. Many in her circle likely won’t either. But neither will the world understand the cross, “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” I Corinthians 1:18.

If you are suffering because of your faith steps- remember:

It was through one man’s obedience- Abraham, after 25 years waiting, he received the promised son. Through whom Messiah came. That every nation on earth would be blessed by the gathering of spiritual family in Christ.

Remember the boy who gave his small lunch? Jesus fed 5,000 plus women and children with it. And had far more leftovers than a Sunday potluck.

I since have seen God’s great kindness in orchestrating my life. Through my own struggles, He has given me a passion for health, encouraging others to find deeper healing. He kept me from sorrows He didn’t allot to me. And instead of going to one far away place He has given me the gift of going to many places through my relationships with my missionary friends all over the world. And hospitality is at my front door.

Our risen Savior bought us through His obedience.

And has purchased an inheritance for those who have placed their faith and trust in Him, where for all eternity, because of His act of submission we will experience His immeasurable kindness and love.

Please your stories of obedience and lessons along the way, I would love to hear!